Alfred and Matthew
by Lucinda Kagamine
Summary: "When I look at you I see me." "The more my feelings progess into a downward spiral of insanity" The story of two twins America and Canada. Based off of vocaloid songs Marie-Luise and Chloe.
1. MarieLuise part one

Hello everyone I felt like writing something so here it is. Two of some of my favorite things. Vocaloid and Hetalia enjoy^_^ Also most of this story is told in flashbacks. And time skips

Alone on a bed in a barley lit room sits a fifteen year old Alfred F Jones.

Looking to his right he sees a picture he has long since cherished. Counting down to the hour he sighs. How could things have turned out like this.

Something lacking warmth lays in his arms. Sighing he wondered why couldn't he change the past.

_'I wanted to see you, I wanted to kiss you.'_

_'I wanted to feel the warmth of your embrace until the end.'_

It felt like it had been a long time ago. When he had first met his younger twin brother. He was so invisible it made him think even if it was returned then he must still hate him somewhere inside. But once I had finally laid my eyes on him they would go away. He was all I ever thought about. That made me confused to the point where other people didn't matter.

_'I can still remember the feeling of wishing to abandon everything else.'_

As a twelve year old I didn't care for very many people. The one person that I did care for was my care taker. His name was Arthur Kirkland. He preferred to be called my older brother. But in all honesty I considered him brother nor parent. I took him to be my lover above all else. After many musings and fights we finally said the hell with it. And started dating even though I was so young. He was everything to me. And the thing that made me the most happy. Was that he felt the same way about me. But at the end of that year something had changed. We had to move I didn't like it. I thought as I made my way through the traffic of the city. These people walking around me they didn't even speak english. And how the hell does Arthur expect me to feel at home when things are like this?

Finally reaching the house the door opened. And in the door way was standing myself? I could not understand and tried to touch his face. But he moved away practically on the verge of tears. Then out of the other room came a man. I don't know why but I really didn't like him so much. As he cuddled the other me who was hiding behind his leg. A silly childish behavior for someone who looked the same age as me. "Alfred are you even paying attention?" I finally caught the fact I was being spoken to.

"Yeah I'm listening." Looking up at Arthur he pointed to the man and my mirror image.

"This is Francis and this young child standing next to him is your twin brother ."

So then now it makes sense why he looks like me. I stared at him and drowned out his explanation as to why we weren't being raised together until now. I don't care about that all I know is that I'm glad we are together now.

Now that I knew he was my twin I looked at him. With adore and respect but most of all with claim. He was going to be forever mine. Was this how Arthur thought of me? Is this why he liked to be called my brother? Is the feeling always this deep? I'm so incredibly happy for all of this. I tired to hug him. And he moved away from me and closer to that man. Was he rejecting me? It's ok it will make it that much better in the end. I quickly ran away as I cried. Everyone assumed I was jealous and didn't want to share the attention. It was far from what they thought.

_I didn't feel like anything was changing._

_He continued to look at me, In the same way that I looked at you._

_Though no one noticed I was crying tears of joy._

Alright this is the end of this chapter. Just a few things to say. This is based off of the vocaloid song Marie-Luise. And his referring to him being invisible is because. When he looks at him he doesn't acknowledge fully that. He's his brother not a piece of himself.


	2. MarieLuise part two

Hello everyone update time yay two in one day I love this fanfic!

Sooner or later they began to take notice that instead of jealously it was love. But love never sounded right to me. You can only love one person at a time right? And I love Arthur so it's not possible for me to love my twin as well. Walking the halls of this house that is empty. I travel to our room it's true that I could have my own but. I would rather be closer to him. It fills my heart with happiness. To wake up and see that he's there. Slowly over time I feel as though I'm forgetting someone. Like there is something I'm meant to be doing. I guess if it doesn't stick out to me it was never important. Entering the room I stop dead in my tracks. All that was in the air was sobbing. I have always hated to hear people cry. It's not annoying or anything it's just heart wrenching and painful. But this is unacceptable I can't have Mattie crying. I sit on the edge of his bed. "What's wrong?" He doesn't reply at first. Only turning over to avoid my gaze. Which I assume was prying at the moment. It's not like I blame him if someone looked at me while I was down. I would avoid the topic of whatever was hurting me too. But Mattie don't you know it hurts me? The avoidance giving me nothing at all when I try and give you everything. "He's gone...he doesn't wish to have me anymore but this is ok."

Slowly I raise from my spot and kick the nearest thing. "No it's not ok!" He stares at me tear filled eyes that spoke one emotion despair. I didn't understand who he was talking about. Or who left him so heart broken to the point where he cries. But I know it wasn't right. It is actually unbearable to see this person I love. Break down in front of me and over some stupid guy. It could have been something small I try and remind myself. Mattie has easily hurt feelings. I still wasn't going to be any less pissed off. Even if I tried to convince myself to calm down. I know my reaction must not be helping his swelling emotions at all. Then I turned to him he was still crying. He hadn't become angry from seeing my reaction. This emotional denial isn't normal. He's taking this as if it's his fault. And in my world nothing was ever his fault. He could do no harm right?

Only then had I noticed what I thought of him. And yes they were correct I loved him more than anything else. If I could take my happiness and give it to him I would. In a heartbeat without thinking.

It's not fair whoever this person was broke his heart. They threw it away something that I would suffer a life time to have. Taking my place again on his bed I layed myself down next to him. My thoughts pull me into a farther comforting place. What makes me happy is him. And since we are twins we should think alike. So if I give myself to him will he become pleased? I pulled him into a hug our bodies only leaving enough space to breath. I heard him sigh mabey he was relaxing now? Finally I closed the space. I was kissing my own twin brother. What had gotten into me something deep down inside said that this was wrong. But I liked it a lot and it felt right. So I wasn't going to deny myself these feelings just this once. He pushed me away somehow it felt like he hadn't meant it. But I was going to stop.

"No Alfred you don't understand I still love Francis even if he loves Arthur more than me."

"No your the one who doesn't understand." Even I know you can't possibly love someone who hurts you. His feelings are a mess but I can't change them. But I can make it so that his feelings are the same as mine. It shouldn't be hard right we are twins after all.

_'But one day away from everything else.'_

_'I asked what was wrong as you were crying.'_

_'Something was taken from you.' 'You cried in frustration,and it angered me.'_

_'I wanted to see you, I wanted to kiss you.'_

_'I wanted to feel the warmth of your embrace until the end.'_

_'I can still remember the feeling of wanting to abandon everything else.'_

_'And once more you only lie,to your heart where your love is for him.'_

_'It's impossible to go back and raise this hatred.'_

_'Thus I will not let him steal you away from me.'_

Ok end of chapter I will update soon probably sooner than you think ^_^


	3. MarieLuise final

Three in one day umm no comment I'm obsessed lol enjoy ^_^

It's a struggle for me now. I keep asking questions turning over thins air. Getting no answers at all. Why can't I make him think like me he is me? It's starting to make me angry and the more I bring up things about us. The more he talks about that man Francis. What was so special about him anyway. And here I sit rambling on and on with myself again.

"Why do you like him so much what's you connection?"

"It's not like Alfred it's love...and besides don't you love the person who has sex with you?"

My heart stopped beating this man. That is suppose to care for him. Is doing horrible things to him. And keeping him so in the dark he doesn't notice. He was being taken advantage of. Gently I put my hand on his shoulder. It felt so nice my skin against his. Something akin to holding my own hand. I internally laugh at that thought. But right now I shouldn't be laughing things so be taken care of properly.

"He doesn't love you back Mattie he used your body." He frowned and opened his mouth about to speak but I stopped him. "If he loved you then he would pay attention to you like Arthur does me."

I say this knowing full well that I haven't been given much love lately either. Or mabey it was the fact that I was ignoring him. Oh it's true when was the last time I crawled in his bed. And said good morning to him first. I don't even remember a thing.

I looked back at him instead of the floor. which is where my eyes had guided me. During my shameful recollection. He had moved away from me.

"Where are you going?" "Away from you." Mattie slammed the door to the bathroom that was in our bedroom. This put a dampen on my spirit that was rude and it hurt my feelings. I stand outside the bathroom door waiting eagerly. I want to see his face when he comes out. Was he angry at me or simply crying once again because I told him the truth? I stood and waited for what felt like a very long time. Turns out my head wasn't playing games on me again. I had waited for nearly six hours. It really is sad that I can't see him. With my back turned against the door directly across the room. I look into our mirror. This will have to do for the time being won't it?

_'I want to see you..to see you'_

_'It's depressing..so depressing'_

_'These vacant eyes keep staring into the distance.'_

After finally having seen his face. Again I smiled then I frowned. He was crying that means he knows what I said was true. But I was still relived to see that it wasn't hate instead. Why would I ever lie to myself that's stupid. I decided that now I was going to do something about all the pain. That kept circulating through this house. Going to the guest room purely out of instinct and nothing else. I play with a gun that was kept in the drawer. Holding it I wonder what's wrong with me. It has become my mantra for these last couple of years.

Then there are other thing I ask myself. Is it wrong that I love Mattie? Whenever I ask that without going further into it. I just say no he's my true love after all. The one you hold the most close to you. Is the one that will forever stay by you side. Arthur told me that once he said that's how he felt about me. That damn lying bastard. But I guess that makes me a lying person to right. I said it back to him after all.

Mattie strays away from me because other are around. Mabey if I just get rid of them all nobody will have to worry. About sharing attention love and other things. We can totally be together all alone. Then he will only have me to think about right? I stared at the door and standing there was Mattie. I went to hug him tightly. "Don't worry very soon things will be ok." I say to assure him because for some reason he looks totally worried about me.  
Just then I felt something pierce my body. Blood there's blood everywhere. I look up into Matthew's eyes. They look like they are in pain. "Are you ok are you alright say something to me!" I shake him but all that happened was his body collapsed on to the floor. "Don't panic everything is ok right?" I feel my vision begin to get blurry. And I felt the tears run down my cheek. And the gun slipped from my grasp. It fell to the floor along with his body. "Alfred I'm sorry I can't do anything to help!" "I don't know what to do!" Am I dreaming or did I call out to myself from above? Only then did I truly look at what was in front of me. I was not standing Mattie was. I feel horrible i'm losing blood and still in the end all I can think about was him. Every time it was natural to make a wish he would always say. I want someone who can notice me. I thought I had at least fulfilled this wish. Because we did spend every day since the start together. I was wrong in the end I couldn't notice him either. I never had I always thought of him as myself. I wish he was never born. That way I wouldn't be in this pain.

I had tried to take away his life. But I was so self centered I shot myself in the end. After all I love him too much to try and harm him. These are all confusing thoughts. And I have already done something I can't undo. If only I had taken the time to sort everything out first.

As everyone living smiled. I resided somewhere blank holding a body. Lacking in both color and warmth replying the end of my last living hour.

_'I just keep walking aimlessly.'_

_'What's the matter? What's the matter? And...'_

_'Why do I keep asking myself for the answer?'_

_'Only my love and only my time will last.'_

_'Anyone other than me will soon pass.'_

_'once all these obstacles are taken care of.'_

_'will you finally be able to think of me alone?'_

_'Continuously the fresh red blood flows.'_

_'And the only thing I was able to do was cry.'_

_'I try and believe you were never even born.'_

_'Only I was the one who loved you so much.'_

_'It's to late to regret anything.'_

_'We after all spent every single day together since we were young.'_

_'As everyone else was smiling.'_

_'I remembered all your wishes crying as I did so.'_

There we go all done with Afred's part next will be Matthew's part based off the song Chloe.

For those of you who didn't understand. He killed himself in the process of wanting to go kill both Arthur and Francis. He thought he had hurt Matthew because he was convinced. There was no difference between the two of them. And now he is in the afterlife thinking about what he has done.


	4. Chloe part one

I'm back everyone apparently throwing out three chapters in one day warrants a little break ^_^

Isolated, ignored, indecent, were only some of the things that Matthew Williams thought of himself as.

To he couldn't help himself out even if he wanted to. He always wanted to play and be like everyone else. But the truth is he couldn't was to attached to father and his mother had gone away. And it was his fault. He was young when it happened so he should forgive himself right? No he could never but that didn't mean he was going to stop living. It was selfish to have regrets and he never wanted any. So he kept living according to the way life had thrown him. But if he could wish for something. It would be for one person to notice him. I guess I can have at least that right?

_'Painful, heart wrenching'_

_'Still wishing for that one thing I always believed in.'_

_'I still don't want to regret this on time life.'_

When I was only nine my wish had started to come true. I was sitting with papa one day and he pulled me close to him. My head was in his lap I was facing up towards the ceiling. And then he looked down at me. His eyes met mine. And quickly I looked away never in the nine whole years I have lived. Have I ever locked my gaze with someone. I didn't know what to do but it still seemed weird to stare back.

"Don't look away mon amour." It wasn't a command I could tell by the voice that was used. And so I covered my eyes. Only to have my hands pulled back.

"What did I tell you about denying fate?" I let my gaze wander upwards. I only pretended to make eye contact. As what I was really watching was the ceiling fan.

"It can't be done take what life gives you."

"Excatement!" This was shouted with cheer. He was always most happy when I remembered the lessons he taught me. Just then he stared at me a little different than before. I sighed not knowing rather it was a good look or a bad one. And his lips had come in contact with mine. At a loss for an explanation. I did they only thing I thought was right. And so I brushed my lips against his as well.

At that moment I knew that I loved him. Does papa love me back? Since we are getting closer mabey one day he will. And once he forgives me mabey I can forgive myself. I want to be with him forever.

_'That precious embrace.'_

_'My faint sigh mixed with a kiss.'_

_'I want it to reach you, It doesn't reach you.'_

_'I want to walk with you someday.'_

After that I grew up a little more. And the same things kept happening. We kept getting closer and closer. By now I had known that Francis was indeed my one true love. He was all I ever thought about. And when I did think about it. Somehow I always ended up feeling guilty. I never knew what caused that mabey it was the resurfacing thought that. This had to be how my mother felt about him. I'm a terrible child but I won't stop loving him. And I hold on to another wish that one day. He will say my name and then I would be content with it. I don't like my name. I wish I had papa's last name.

One day papa told me that we would be having others live with us. It was like having a mirror broken of my body. Was I not enough for him? I wasn't good enough was I? That would be the only reason. Why he would invite two more people to live here. These were my thoughts I never said any of them.

Later on that evening the other had arrived. I was the one to open the door. I wish I hadn't the person on the other side. Was a boy my height staring not at me but through me. I know that look very well. Even if I was bluntly gazing at the floor. This one will certainly not acknowledge me as my own person.

Even I had noticed it after I had gained the courage to look we looked alike.

He held his hand out to me and tried to touch me. And I ran away to papa to my safety. This boy was giving me bad vibes.

Even though I knew I must be crazy doing this. I'm twelve after all hiding behind your parent was a dumb thing. But I didn't want to be left alone. Not with him nor his care taker. 'Je suis un lache' that was what my head told me. Thinking back on all papa's behavior towards me now. I felt so incredibly happy but now somehow that happiness had turned to pain. Screaming that it wasn't meant to be. I know I'm not suppose to deny my fate. But I won't give up on that I just can't.

I wonder if papa knows I'm feeling replaced. I tug on his pants leg a couple of times. Then he picks me up. I guess he didn't understand after all. I hold my head down as he takes me to a part of the house I have never been in. Saying that this was my new room I was only allowed to sleep here. With my twin brother Alfred from now on. I couldn't tell him I wanted my old room back. Then one that was right next to his. That night I paced back and forth while everyone was sleep. I was in the kitchen attempting to cheer myself up. I was never a very cheerful kid after all so why attempt now? It was because Alfred was cheerful. If I acted in a manner that would keep papa's attention then mabey he would come to love me after all. And if not I sighed and tears escaped my eyes. I didn't even want to think about that outcome. If everything was just to sustain me if it never meant anything to him at all.

If the kissing,touching and the feeling of being embraced was all just for me. Cause he felt sorry for me. Surely papa must have felt the drift growing between us slowly during the day. I couldn't be the only one crying about this. The more I thought these things the more helpless I became. Holding the knife in my hand I had just finished using. I thought again this time it was more twisted. If that was true I think I would rather die. That was when papa entered the kitchen he looked at me I couldn't tell what he was thinking. And I knew for sure that he hadn't been crying though when I peeked a look at him. As his eyes were clear and mine were most likely red.

Lifting the knife I wanted to slam the blade into my hand for being so stupid. And I would have if it hadn't been for papa snatching it away from me.

_'My thoughts keep repeating.'_

_'This love is only for you.'_

_'I still continue to struggle obsessively.'_

_'Sad unrequited wishes.'_

_'I can't feel anything.'_

_'I kept running away from everything.'_

_'Couldn't anyone see me.'_

_'I continue to wander alone.'_

_'Painful heart wrenching.'_

_'Still wishing for that one thing I always believed in.'_

_'I still don't wanna regret this one time life.'_

_'Flowing mischievously.'_

_'No longer able to hide from empty time.'_

_'Tears disappear onto my lap.'_

_'My thoughts bloom madly.'_

_'Was the time we embraced,kissed and searched each other a lie?'_

_'Are you crying? Not crying.'_

_'Blank eyes look back at me.'_

Alright guys end of the chapter I will update soon.


	5. Chloe part two

Here you go everyone update time. First I would like to say thank you to everyone who is supporting me. Ok now you can read your update. ^_^ Don't forget to review.

What is wrong with me? I can only take comfort in the marks from the blade that run down my legs. Nobody notices they never do. But I can't help but wonder what would be said to me if they ever did.

I quit most of the time. But that night when I came so close to plunging the knife. Into my skin I came back the next night and did it again. Only this time I experienced success. I'm so confused I feel like everything I do is in vain. And more than anything It hurts. This morning I was called into papa's room. And told to come alone. I don't know what is being planned. I don't revel in the element of surprise. I would like to know what's going to happen. But at least we are spending some time alone. But wait what if he wants to do that again? My mind wanders off in a negative direction. No I can't let him make love to me. He will see the scars he's the last person I want worried. If anyone were to see these I would want it to be Alfred. I would like for him to freak out seeing how much pain he is causing me. I had to halt my mental thought process. Did I really just think that? Am I becoming a bad person again. Wanting to see other people suffer. That's not who I am I take it back. I shake my head but the thought never leaves.

_'Painful heart wrenching.'_

Slowly I drag myself into Papa's room. He was taking a shower. And so I sat on the bed to wait. Then he called for me. "Is it you amant?" I want to reply but I don't instead I keep quite. I waited and waited just to see if he would call my name. He never does and so I sigh and answer. "Yes it's me." After a ten minute wait I got nothing.

"Ok that's good I was starting to worry since you never answered." I would have answered right away if only you had said my name. I think this to myself and then that's a much to harsh thought. So I throw it away.

"Come in here." I'm hoping this isn't going where I think this is. I'm dreading the outcome.

Entering that bathroom I heard him faintly sigh.

"Listen ok your probably not going to like this."

"I'm listening please don't stop speaking mid sentence it makes me worry more."

"Oh sorry I never realized that you felt that way."

"What I'm trying to say is Arthur and I are a' se marier."

I don't cry I simply stare at the floor that's the only place my gaze is comfortable. So they are getting

married. "When we do I can't hold you that way anymore." "I understand." "It's better for me to break it off now." "It's ok." "Sorry I was using you as a replacement for your late mother." I want to scream I could literally stick my nails through my chest. And rip my heart out that was the one thing I didn't want to hear. At least he was honest. I need to learn how to be honest myself. I open my mouth to speak but the words don't come. If I protest this it will be denying my fate. I was told to never do that. And so I turn around and walk towards my room.

It's so dark I can barley see a thing. It's good that I have been walking in here my whole life.

I feel so lonely. I want to see the darkness in the back of my eyelids and nothing else. Reaching my room I throw myself onto my bed. I look like some stupid little girl. I think to myself while crying into my pillow. I want..I want my brother.

Then like magic the door opens and he steps through it. I guess some wishes do come true.

Steeping over he sits upon my bed. I don't look up tears cloud my vision. "What's wrong?" He ask me this and I turn away. Everything is wrong I say to myself. I noticed I hadn't spoken back to him. That was pretty rude considering. I wanted him to be here. I might as well speak to him.

"He's gone...He doesn't wish to have me anymore but this is ok." It's not like I could object after all.

I have no choice but to accept.

Lost in my thoughts I wonder if there was a better way for me to handle this whole thing. Pulled from my thoughts I heard a loud crash. "No it's not ok!" I stared at him I wanted to smile. But I couldn't after not having known each other for such a long time. He feels my pain that makes me happy. But it also makes me sad. All this time I have been denying a love sitting in front of me. I cross my legs as I can feel the blood from my wounds seeping out. And my eyes darken with this over running emotion. That for some reason I can not name.

Yes I know he loves me now. The question is do I love him back? Am I brave enough to return his feelings. Or am I convincing myself I have feelings for him. If only to avoid the feeling of being lonely.

Sometimes I wish I could stop thinking. I only felt the bed shift when I finally payed attention. His forehead had been on mine. His arms around my waist. I knew what was coming next I did not move.

How could I? Do I want this? Why do I live knowing I won't be loved for me? His lips are pressed to mine I sigh again. How many times have I done this today? I only have but two choices right now. Accept or reject. If I let Alfred continue. He will love me. But he will want to control me. If I turn him down he will hate me. Which is better to be loved and controlled? Or giving up your one last chance at love to maintain your individuality? In the end I rejected him pushing him away. Not that I really wanted to. I just thought this was something I had to do for me.

"No Alfred you don't understand I still love Francis even If he loves Arthur more than me."

"No your the one who doesn't understand."

Why...why couldn't I just give in?

_'I continue to ask for this unreachable love.'_

_'I'm only gathering emptiness.'_

_'I still continue to walk in the dark.'_

_'Nothing is staying the same my feelings.'_

_'Melting flowing out.'_

_'The red thread spins.'_

_'What am I asking for? What am I feeling?'_

"_What am I being kept alive for.'_

Ok i'm sure you know but the next chapter is the last. I will update for you guys again. Until then see you!


	6. Chloe final

So far I would like to say thank you for reading till the end. And then I would like to say thank you for the support. Now I want to say enjoy your update ^_^

So far the years have been passing with and without significance. But somehow I felt like today would be over the top.

Even though Alfred and I have been spending more time together. It never stopped the emptiness in my heart that I felt for Francis. And my purest way to reject my brothers affection for me. He had made it very clear how he felt about me. And I thought I had made it clear I didn't want that. I was wrong that never stopped him from sneaking into my bed. The hugging and kissing without my permission. I was what you would call utterly at the end.

On this day he kept asking me questions. I wasn't going to answer any of them. It was either ignore or answer them with another question. Soon he would get fed up and leave me. I kept telling that to myself. That my pushing him away wasn't going to do any good. And if anything it would only press him on. But something on the inside tells me if I continue he will give up. Or mabey that's just me assuming he would act that way. Because that is the way I carry myself.

From the side I see the distance in his face. Just a bunch of thoughts piled on top of one another.

His thinking face is attractive. No I didn't just say that Matthew get ahold of yourself.

"Why do you like him so much what's your connection?"

"It's not like Alfred It's love..and besides don't you love the person who has sex with you?"

He puts his hand on my shoulder in a way like he was showing me sympathy. This bastard I don't need anything from him. And he shouldn't be treating me like this. Francis still love me that's why I know I don't need him. So why do I continue to linger by his side. Mabey It's because I open my mouth to speak.

"He doesn't love you back Mattie he used your body."

My mouth shut instantly. How could he..Why would he say that. I was just about to tell him that mabey it was one sided. But he had to go and say something so mean to me. I was going to admit it myself. Doesn't anyone think that I can do a single damn thing myself?

Ten minutes passed between the two of us until. I was ready to stop holding back the words. Gaining mild confidence only to have it snatched away again. As he spoke first filling my heart with despair.

"If he loved you he would pay attention to you like Arthur does me."

Then suddenly he looked to the ground. Something I had only done since we have met. He looked like he regretted those words. Was it because they hurt me? No they couldn't be it's more then likely because he knows they were lies.

I stand up and head towards the bathroom. No it can't be is it really true that nobody cares about me?

"Where are you going?"

"Away from you." I answer this question quickly and slammed the door to the bathroom. Hey I had to take out my frustration on something didn't I?

Looking at the space around me I took It all in. If I could spend the rest of my life in this closed place I would. The time passes quickly here when all I can do is think. Unlike everyone else when all they can do is think. They tend to freak out as they muse over regrets in their life. And so time moves slowly for them. No not me I have no regrets so I can't dwell on them. Instead I look over my flaws and treatment. And wonder about myself and the people around me. In those hours I noticed something. I was wrong so completely wrong about everything. Just now hadn't he asked where I was going? That meant that he had to care. And that not once did I register the sound of him leaving the room. I feel the tears slowly begin to pour from my eyes. I need to see him after six hours. I left the bathroom and I faced him.

With both a smile and a frown he greeted me. I could only view those expressions as. I happy to see you again. And stop crying your making me sad. I watch his back as he walks to the door. Could he possibly be giving me alone time? For me to think on rather or not to forgive him. I obviously forgive him but he's a bit dense. So I will let him go and be the noble hero he is. The final look he gave me was one I barley caught. It was a I will make it all better sort of thing. There is nothing to fix Alfred I wanted to say to him. That everything that happens to us is fate. But that would be stupid of me to crush his beliefs. And just because a person says something doesn't mean the other will listen.

Alone in that bedroom. A banished thought returns. My mother our only mother is gone. I had grown up with a father who I assumed was my real one. And my actual mother shouldn't I be grateful?

Alfred had grown up with a stranger. The fact that he still was taken care of properly is nothing short of a miracle. I'm selfish I'll share Francis with him from now on because it's not fair of me. I don't care if I get replaced he is entitled to have that happiness. I won't make the same mistake again. Opening the door I walk the halls to find him. I have to tell him how I feel. I enter the room what I saw shocked me to my core. Why is he holding a gun? He needs to put it down. I know he's a bit slow but those are dangerous. Surely he knows this. A million thoughts flew through my head. In only a few short seconds those were only the ones the presented themselves repeatedly.

He embraces me and I look at him confused. For the words that leave his mouth are distressing.

"Don't worry very soon things will be ok." I can feel it the thoughts clawing at me tearing me from the inside out. I don't want a repeat I don't want it! The sound of the gun goes off. It echoes in my ears.

He Looks at me worried "Are you ok are you alright say something to me?" I grab his shoulders and shake him. But all that happened was that he collapsed on the floor. Tears start to make their way down my face again. I cry about anything and I can never do anything. "Alfred I'm sorry I can't do anything to help!" "I don't know what to do!" My hands are clenched tightly the nails break my skin. The blood pours from my hand. Another person gone and because of me. His eyes look at me bearing hatred then a softness I can't understand. Is he happy he's dying? Is he happy he's causing me pain? And then look of regret was given. I can't I can't no more stop please! I sprint from the room and back to the bathroom. Of our shared bedroom knife in hand it used to hurt me so bad that we shared this place together. Now the pain is non existent it has gone numb from the constant wounds being inflicted. Just like I can no longer feel it when a knife stabs me.

In the corner of this place I look around. The walls are closing in I close my eyes to escape.

~I was walking down the hall to my mothers room. Lately all she had done was cling on to dad. And both of them would praise me for small things. This woman would examine me like I wasn't real. Frequently knocking me over in hall ways. Claiming she didn't see me there. Or telling me to stop being so quiet. How am I suppose to stop something that's in my nature. She has asked the impossible. She had asked me to do something against my papa's wishes. I could never take my papa's wants and discard them. Not for anyone not for her. Creeping into her room where both father lay. I was given the chance to examine her. She sleeps peacefully unknowing of my presence. Where I have been or what I was doing. I stare at her intently.

"Mother I have been to the kitchen."

"Mother I have this knife." "It's dangerous right?" She doesn't answer me only rolls over and grabs papa's hand. His hand the hand that I hold everyday. The same hand that gives me baths. The same hand that touches me when we lay together. Why is she holding it? This..is..not..fair.

Nor is this fate I refuse to be left alone! I refuse to be forgotten! I don't want papa taken from me! I will not let you steal him! I will not forgive you! Raising my hand the blade hover over her skin. It digs into her voice box she releases my lovers hand. She can't scream for help. She can't cry out his name. I stab her over and over again. It's what she deserves I can not and will not share. And even after she's gone and the life in her eyes has gone far away. I take away her head. Separating it from her body I throw it against the wall. Only then do I see papa looking at me. Was I too loud? Did I do something wrong? I was only punishing her. For forgetting me and for claiming you. His eyes speak several different terms of terror. I want to comfort him I hug him. "You belong to me."~

Since when had my eyes opened? Why was I bleeding? I wasn't kidding when I said I couldn't feel it anymore was I? The slashes up and down my arms and legs the large one on my neck. I think this time I might actually die. I'm not sad how can I be when I have done such horrible things. I lie,deny, compromise. I am Isolated, ignored, indecent. How could I possibly deserve to live?

Looking at the door I hear the banging running through my head. And Francis looks at me at least I think he does. How could I tell if he was looking through me or not? When all I could see was just faint visions of the darkness soon to encase me. He never cared about me anyway right. Next to him stands that women my mother. Why..why would you choose her over me? Why did I choose him over Alfred?

Why couldn't I finish my life's goal? I have this regret never telling you. "I love you even now still..."

_'We now love to decorate with the bright fresh blood that's flowing'_

_'Your eyes your blood they're all my treasures'_

_'Won't you turn around?'_

_'Your just bad.' 'look only at me.'_

_'From now on, we will always be together.'_

_'Because no one will interfere.'_

_'Why is this red blood flowing from me now?..'_

_'It dyes the earth red.'_

_'Next to me, You and that woman stare at me.'_

_'Hazy distorted my consciousness collapses far away as it over flows.'_

_'In the dark I tell you now..'_

_'I love you even still..'_

_'Painful heart wrenching.'_

_'Painful heart wrenching.'_

I'm all done you guys! It hurts me to end this I had so much fun writing it.

For everyone who didn't understand the end. When he closed his eyes he started to remember the past.

In which he went completely yandere. Not noticing when ever he stabbed his mother in the flash back he was doing it to himself. His staring at her is when he has opened his eyes. When he refers to his mother standing next to Francis in the end. It is actually Arthur standing there. And It is unclear who he is saying he loves. It's up to you to decide who his true love was.

Thanks for reading you guys! Please drop a review ^_^


End file.
